Dick Wolfsie
A few years back, I told the story of my car starting. I know this does not sound very interesting, but there was more to it. My Elantra does not require a key. Instead, it has a fob and a push button on the dash. I had accidentally left the little doohickey on the kitchen counter, but when I got in the car and pushed the ignition button, the car roared into action. How could that be?
As my auto technician explained to me that day, my extra fob had to be somewhere in the car. And sure enough, I did find the little rascal hiding in a corner of the seat, lodged in a nest of cookie crumbs, pretzel pieces and pen tops.
Last month, a new issue arose. I was late for an appointment, but my car was in the shop so I had to borrow Mary Ellen’s Prius. She came home late, so I waited for her in the driveway. We quickly switched seats when she arrived, with the car still idling. And off I went. On the way to my destination, the dashboard flashed a little advisory note:
“There is no key fob in the vehicle.”
How could that be? I was driving, wasn’t I? Yes, I was driving, but Mary Ellen still had the key fob in her purse. That meant when I turned off the car, I wouldn’t be able to start it again. Of course, I could call Mary Ellen to come get me after I finished my meeting, but she didn’t have her car. I had it. Okay, I could leave the car running while I went to my appointment, but we’d probably be short another car when it was stolen. I turned around and drove back home. I then unfairly blamed Mary Ellen for this predicament. But she had a good explanation: “Oops!”
But there were more key issues. Last week I somehow lost my duplicate fob, again. I looked everywhere. This time I knew it wasn’t in the car because the Hyundai would not start. But how can you lose a car key? If I left the key fob somewhere I wouldn’t have been able to drive home, but here I was. So that meant it had to be in the house.
I have been looking for that extra device for a month. I even asked AI: How do I find a lost key fob? The advice made me question the word “intelligence” in the abbreviation AI. I was hoping to learn of some intricate GPS system that was embedded in the fob. Instead, they told me to retrace my steps. DUH. Then they suggested looking in my drawers. Did that mean in my pants pockets or next to my underwear and socks?
I called my friend who helped me last time I had car issues …
“Hi, Bob.”
“Hey, Dick, what’s the prob?”
“I need help finding my fob.”
“I’ll take the job.”
He was busy so I called him again later that day for further advice. He must have spent all day thinking of a funny line…
“Fobs are us!”
“Ha, ha. Any suggestions, Bob?”
“Yes, return to the dealership and buy a new fob, but don’t get robbed.”
“That will cost me a lot of money, Bob.”
“Better call Schwab.”
Television personality Dick Wolfsie writes columns for The Daily Reporter. Send comments to [email protected].
