I read an article recently about how complaining physically rewires your brain to be anxious and depressed.
The thing about complaining is that we don’t have to be taught how to do it. It’s natural.
As soon as my daughters were able to speak they knew how to complain — whether they wanted more food, different clothes, or were too hot, or too cold. They knew how to express their wants.
There are three main types of complainers.
-Venters are the people who just want to be listened to. They don’t want solutions, just someone to hear them gripe.
-Sympathy Seekers — or as I like to call them, “one uppers” — always have it worse than you. Not only that, they see the fault in you and your solutions to their concerns.
-Chronic Complainers obsessively think and complain about a problem. Instead of feeling relaxed after complaining, they actually become worried and anxious from the act.
I will be the first to admit: I’ve had my fair share of complaining throughout my life. It’s easy to find the negative in situations, whether that is finances, relationships, taxes, work, family or the future.
When I find myself in that downward spiral of worry and concern, I am reminded of a verse found Paul’s letter to the Philippians. “Do everything without complaining or arguing … hold firmly to the word of life …” (Philippians 2.14, 16a).
Jesus also told his disciples, “…do not be anxious about your life…” (Matt. 6.25a). He goes on to tell the disciples that their greatest needs in life — clothing, food, shelter — will be met. They will be provided for.
In the same letter to the Philippians, Paul later tells the church, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4.6-7).
Instead of focusing on what you can’t do, set your eyes on what God can do. Don’t look for the negative, but look for the potential in every circumstance.
The Psalmists wrote, “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy” (Psalm 94.19). Joy is an amazing thing when you consider it. Joy is not fleeting or based on circumstance. Joy is not impacted by a bad day or a restless night. It is a deep and abiding gladness that transcends the ups and downs of life.
But true joy is only found in the presence of God (Psalm 16.11). In the hustle and bustle of life, joy can become your constant companion when you learn to trust every day to Jesus. It’s in our hardships we can learn to deepen our faith. It’s in the challenges before us that we are urged to draw near to God.
My prayer for this community is that we learn to rest in the presence of God and leave our worries behind us.
Dr. David Barnett is teaching pastor at Park Chapel Christian Church in Greenfield. This weekly column is written by local clergy members.
