Dick Wolfsie
The disorder is called misophonia. When I first heard about this, I thought it was a feeling you experience when you can’t find your cellular device. Get it? Miss your phone.
So, what is it? Well, if you have misophonia, you’re not going to like the sound of this. Actually, if you have it, you are not going to like the sound of a few things. The malady is characterized by an aversion to certain everyday sounds. This is a serious disorder, but let’s look at the lighter side of it by going to their website.
One primary care physician claims there are certain noises he can’t tolerate. Hopefully “Ouch!” and “ahhh…” are not examples. He admits being overly sensitive to yawners and to people whose “saliva is audible when they speak.” By the way, if your saliva is saying anything interesting, I’d like to interview you for a column. Over the phone.
On a misophonia website, many people expressed relief at discovering that other people had this problem. One man said that he suffered from the disorder way before he knew there was a word for it. This is not so unusual. As a kid, I often took candy bars off the shelf at the supermarket and stuck them in my pocket. I had a bachelors degree in psychology before I realized I was a kleptomaniac.
One woman hated the sound of heavy breathing and when she heard anyone doing it, she immediately left the room. She signed her post as Chastity, which makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Another lady said that she hated it when people whistled through their noses and still another poor soul said that she could not stand the sound of her own chewing. Okay, lady just keep your mouth shut. All the time.
The sound of people eating popcorn was mentioned in several of the posts. And the crunching of apples drives a lot of people bonkers. One farmer said—and I swear I am not making this up—that when her husband eats an apple, she has to cover her ears, “but listening to my horse eating an apple doesn’t bother me at all.” Here’s another post: “I can’t stand any sounds that are emitted orally.” So apparently as long as her partner doesn’t snore or burp, she’s happy with anything. A newlywed said that her husband’s eating disgusts her and she’s thinking of leaving him. What? She’s just now discovering this? Waiting until marriage for intimacy is one thing, but waiting for your first meal together? What cult is that?
The sounds made by ice cream eaters are also annoying to some people. What with the lip-smacking and the spoon hitting the bottom of the bowl. One woman confessed she was thinking about doing away with her husband, but instead she told him he was lactose intolerant. A senior citizen said that when his wife slurps soup, he wants to ring her neck. By the way, ringing is a another sound some people hate.
Check out the website Misophonia.com. Are these real people with legitimate concerns? Who knows. Maybe it’s all just hearsay.
Television personality Dick Wolfsie writes columns for The Daily Reporter. Send comments to [email protected].
