Linda Dunn
September is National Suicide Prevention Month and National Suicide Prevention Week begins Sunday, September 10 and ends Saturday, September 16. The problem, however, exists throughout the entire year, every year, without us growing any closer to finding a way to prevent these tragedies.
My grandfather — a local farmer — ended his own life the evening after Grandma died in a nursing home. That bullet didn’t just kill Grandpa; it felt like the fragments ricocheted through every member of the family and left a gaping hole in all our lives.
Yes, we all expect to lose our grandparents during our lifetime, but suicide leaves loved ones with the wrongheaded conviction that we could have and should have — somehow — prevented this. It colors our memories of our past and leads to “survivor’s guilt” for those who have done nothing wrong but still cannot shake that feeling of self-guilt.
Sad as our own loss was, it was minor compared to the pain and confusion I witnessed years later when my husband and I attended the funeral of a friend and co-worker who ended his own life.
His parents asked the same question of everyone at the funeral over and over again: “Did Steve say anything to you…?” as they searched desperately for a reason why their son, who was young, healthy, successful and seemingly had everything to live for, chose suicide.
They never found their answer.
His parents later sued a doctor who’d prescribed Steve medication that they became convinced was responsible.
But was it?
We will never really know why anyone chooses to end their own life. Even when they leave a note behind, it is usually insufficient for us to understand, let alone accept, their actions.
In 2020, an estimated 3.2 million people planned a suicide, 1.2 million attempted suicide and there were 45,979 deaths by suicide. (https://www.americashealthrankings.org/explore/measures/suicide/IN) Indiana ranks 24th in the U.S. for deaths by suicide.
Suicide is a hugely sensitive, complex issue with causes as diverse and complicated as those who attempt it; but one well-documented detail is the gap in methodology between genders. While women are roughly three times more likely to attempt suicide, men are two to four times more likely to die by suicide.
The main (but not only) reason for the gender difference is that men tend to use more lethal methods, such as firearms, whereas women tend to use less certain means (such as overdosing on prescription drugs).
Unfortunately, this leads to some of us believing that failed suicide attempts are just “attention-seeking” and they were “not really serious about killing themselves.”
This, despite the most clear warning sign of a potential suicide being a past suicide attempt.
So what can we do?
First, know the “warning signs.” You can find a full list at the National Institute of Mental Health. (https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/warning-signs-of-suicide)
If you observe any of these indicators in someone close to you, please encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional. If they appear to be in immediate danger, do not leave them alone while looking for ways to obtain help for them.
But, just as airlines warn you to “adjust your own mask before helping others,” it is important for you to see to your own safety if there is reason to believe this person might injure others as well as themselves.
The national hotline for suicide is 800-273-8255 and their website is at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Mental Health Partners of Hancock County is available locally.
In 2019, suicide was the tenth leading cause of death in the United States, claiming over 47,500 lives. It was the second leading cause of death for those age 10-34 and the fourth leading cause of death of those 35-44. Taking one’s own life outpaced the murder rate by nearly two and a half times.
Suicide week is an annual campaign observed in the United States to educate and inform us about suicide prevention and to reduce the stigma too often attached to those who struggle with this issue.
We need to make it easier for those in need to reach out for assistance and we need to view mental health therapy in much the same way we view going to the gym to improve our physical fitness.
Let’s remove the stigma and focus on compassion and care for one another.
A lifelong resident of Hancock County, Linda Dunn is an author and retired Department of Defense employee.
