MORRISTOWN — The wall on Diane Dishman’s right was filled with yellow paper hearts with the names of those who have died from COVID-19, including her husband’s.
On the wall to her left hung photos of dozens lost to the novel coronavirus, as well as memories written by victims’ loved ones.
And before her sat a group listening to her speak about her high school sweetheart who became her best friend of over 40 years.
“He was a 57-year-old strong guy and he was just blindsided by the cruelty of this virus,” Dishman said. “It just attacked his lungs, and we never thought that it would be so devastating on our family. When I walked him in the hospital, I never even imagined that he would not come home.”
She was speaking at the opening ceremony on Saturday for the Crossroads Indiana Memorial, made up of the hearts, photos and memories covering the walls of the community room of the Velma Wortman Branch of the Shelby County Public Library. It’s part of the Yellow Heart Memorial, an effort that started in Texas and has been spreading across the country to honor those who have died from COVID-19.
The ceremony also featured a chaplain who spoke about coping with grief from a distance, as so many have had to do throughout the pandemic.
Library branch manager Catherine Roberts and her mother, Dawn Hamilton, both Greenfield residents, organized the Crossroads Indiana Memorial. Alan Trobe, Hamilton’s father and Roberts’ grandfather, died of COVID-19 in January 2021.
“The middle of Indiana is known as the crossroads of America because of numerous interstates, roads that intersect here,” Roberts said. “As we all come together to remember our loved ones lost to COVID-19 and to create this memorial, it becomes our crossroads, a memorial physically displayed in Indiana but embracing everyone across the miles who share similar stories. It’s where our journeys intersect.”
Dishman, who lives in Chesterton in northwestern Indiana, connected with Hamilton online through the Yellow Heart Memorial. Dishman’s husband, William “Jim” James Dishman, died of COVID-19 on Oct. 30, 2020. She and both of their sons had also contracted the virus, but it affected Jim the worst, putting him in an intensive care unit for 67 days.
“It was terrifying,” Dishman said. “For that first month, we were not able to even see him. … Waiting for the doctors or nurses to call with information was like torture for all of us.”
Eventually he was sent to a hospital in Chicago, and once he tested negative for COVID-19, his family was able to visit him in person. But the damage to his body continued.
He was a hero to his sons, Dishman said.
“He was always there to give them advice, and he was just such a good father,” she said, adding he loved the outdoors. “He was the best storyteller, and his laughter was just infections. I really miss that. We are forever changed by his absence. I know that we’ll eventually heal from this tragedy, but I think that’s going to be a long time down the road, because this pandemic isn’t over yet.”
She encouraged others to help bring the pandemic to an end.
“I know that the vaccine and masks are all kind of controversial, but they do help protect you and others,” she said.
Dishman is grateful for the Crossroads Indiana Memorial and the original Yellow Heart Memorial a woman started in Irving, Texas, after losing her mother to COVID-19.
“We as survivors, we need to keep fighting for our loved ones and telling their stories,” she said. “I think that’s an important part of the healing process.”
Jeff Wolfe, a chaplain with Spiritual Care Association, spoke at the ceremony about trauma, grief and the complications COVID-19 has created for both throughout the pandemic.
“This is a disease that keeps on progressing, and what makes this difficult is we’re in a pandemic … and we can’t actually go through the normal process,” he said.
When someone is near death, it’s normal for their loved ones and religious leaders to be close by, he noted. When the novel coronavirus struck, hospital rooms closed to visitors and the closest many could get to one another was via a video call on a device being held in front of the patient by a nurse.
“That’s very hard because we don’t want to see our loved ones die alone, transition alone,” Wolfe said. “We don’t want them to go, and we can’t hug them in the way we normally would.”
Wolfe encouraged those who have lost loved ones to COVID-19 to share their experiences with each other. He recalled how he noticed attendees doing just that as they settled in for the ceremony.
“It’s interesting because that sharing is actually important in our healing process, because we’re sharing the memories, and the life, and celebrating that which we had, and we feel sad because we’ve lost and we don’t know how we can move forward,” Wolfe said. “Sometimes hearing someone else going through the same thing makes it a little bit easier. It doesn’t make it go away, but we learn from each other.”
Dishman said sharing has been helpful for her and her family.
“We are very good about talking to each other,” she said. “We talk things over, how we’re feeling.”
Wolfe also had advice for those interacting with someone who’s had a loved one die from COVID-19.
“Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone who lost someone is just be present,” he said. “Let them tell the story; let them tell what they’re going through.”
He spoke about the difficulties the pandemic has had on his profession as well.
“We chaplains, we’re touchy people,” he said. “We like to hug people and we like to hold their hands. We didn’t know what to do. We had to articulate over the phone what a hug typically would do.”
Hamilton, holding a framed photograph of her late father, said the hardest part for her has been the indifference of others as they urge her to get over the loss; say that he’s better off without the dementia he had late in life; and who don’t continue to take COVID-19 safety precautions seriously.
“The loss of my father and so many of these people whose hearts are here, and even more that we don’t have up there, are considered to be expendable,” Hamilton said. “They’re expendable to people who think this is false, because they’re invisible to them.”
Crossroads Indiana Memorial’s hearts, photos and memories will remain visible at the library through Nov. 20.
IF YOU GO
The Crossroads Indiana Memorial is located in the community room at the Velma Wortman Morristown Branch of the Shelby County Public Library, 127 E. Main St., Morristown. The library’s hours are 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Mondays, noon to 8 p.m. on Tuesdays, 10 to 6 p.m. Wednesday through Friday, and 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Saturdays. The library is closed on Sundays.
REMEMBERING LOST LOVED ONES
Crossroads Indiana Memorial welcomes submissions from those who have lost someone they care about to COVID-19 to be included in its Yellow Heart Memorial. Those submitting are asked to include:
- Your name
- Loved one’s name
- Date of passing
- Location of passing
- Whether they were in a long-term health-care facility
- Any information, stories or memories you’d like to share
- A photo if you’d like one displayed
Information can be submitted to [email protected], by messaging the Crossroads Indiana Memorial Facebook page, or by visiting the Velma Wortman Morristown Branch of the Shelby County Public Library, 127 E. Main St., Morristown.
