I don’t pay much attention to trends because they tend to be like buses-there’s a new one every ten minutes. However, this one has not only snagged my attention but sent chills down my spine and triggered goose bumps on my arms.
Axe throwing.
That’s right, throwing an axe at a target has become a big thing. Don’t tell me you’re still doing yoga.
Axe throwing is so popular it’s gone global. No matter where you live, you can probably find axe throwing lessons near you or even join a competitive axe-throwing league.
When I first heard the next big thing was axe, I thought they meant Axe, the line of hair products, deodorant and fragrance popular with young men. Half of our son’s graduating class marched across the stage to receive high school diplomas enshrouded in a giant cloud of Axe.
That’s not the axe. This is the axe like frontiersmen used to fell trees. Those would be the ones who smelled like sweat, not aftershave. Only nobody is clearing land with axes. They’re throwing axes at targets. It’s like a supersized version of darts.
One man claims throwing an axe is very therapeutic and very calming. I’d like to know more about his day job.
Axe throwing is a three-step process. The first step is to grip the handle of the axe with two hands, raise it over your head and lower it behind your back. The first step would also be the last step for me. The weight of an axe overhead and behind my back would tip me backward. Even if I didn’t fall backward, or dislocate both shoulders, I couldn’t swing it overhead, let alone accurately hurl it at a target.
Maybe that’s why you do this with metal fencing on both sides of you. Plus, someone sizes you up to determine if you have the strength for axe throwing. That would be me getting the no-go.
Oh, and you’re also not to wear open-toed shoes.
Great. There’s the recurring nightmare I’ll have for the next two weeks.
You’re wondering how popular something like this could be, right?
Very popular. Axe-throwing businesses advise booking two months in advance.
I’ve been reading about this and keep thinking, who are these people? Do I know them? Am I related to them?
Turns out I am. A son-in-law did this in a corporate team-building exercise. He said it was fun. I’m keeping an eye on that one.
An axe-throwing venue near us is advertising a birthday special — book your group and the birthday boy or girl gets in free!
“Mom, Mom! Can I? Can I? Can I please have an axe-throwing birthday party?”
Mom faints.
I’d pay someone not to invite a loved one to an axe-throwing birthday party. I’m not antisocial. You can come to my house for cake when the axe-throwing birthday party is over, but we’ll cut the cake the traditional way — with a small dull knife that hasn’t been sharpened in years.
Lori Borgman is an Indianapolis columnist. Send comments to [email protected].
